The Forward
by Merusa
Summary: Chapters 1 through 10 written Pre Book 6. The magical world has email, and a forward goes around...to everyone. Chapters become progressively more invasive as the story goes along...
1. Harry

**"The Forward" **

**Inspired by Fresh-AngelBabe's MagicMail**

To: Hoggy-Warty Hogwarts (Group)

From: MightyMidget_01@theda.net

Fill this out and send it on.

Name: Harry Potter. Yup, get over it.

Age: 16

House: Gryffindor. Weasley is our king and Malfoy is a ferret.

Been Kissed: Yes. Wasn't all that great, though.   
Been on stage: Not literally, but I'm looked at enough.  
Gotten in a car accident?: You heard about Me and Ron in second year, right?  
Cold or hot: Hot  
Blue or Red: Red, go Gryffindor  
Rain or snow: rain, snow's just annoying.  
Wool or cotton? Cotton

Chocolate milk or plain milk: Chocolate

Spring or fall?: Fall, we're usually not in that much trouble yet..  
Do you like someone?: Yup.   
Do They Know: Umm...I'll get back to you on that.

Who's the funniest: Ron  
Who's the craziest: Luna. In a good way.   
Who do you e-mail the most: Ginny  
Who's the loudest: Seamus  
Who's the most silent?: Padma  
Who's the shyest?: Definetely not Ginny. Don't hurt me, Ginger!  
Whose parents do you know the best: Ron and Ginny's  
Been hugged: Yea

Had a serious talk?: Must you ask questions you know the answers to?  
Gotten along with your parents: I did when they were alive, but aren't most babies agreeable?  
Fought with a friend?: Oh yes.  
Give hugs?: Not really.  
Give back rubs?: No comment.  
Take walks in the rain?: Yes, it's nice when it rains  
Which one of your friends...  
Knows you the best: Ron, Hermione, or Ginny  
Have you known the longest: Ron....he did get the dirt off his nose, though.  
Have you known the shortest?: Luna  
Most likely to end up in jail: Fred and George. I'm sure they're complimented by that, though...  
Been to a concert: Nope.

Favorite Artist: Good Charlotte. Their version of "I Want Candy" is good.

Favorite Song: Mesmerized

For Muggle-borns and Muggle-raised- Favorite Movie: The Godfather. I've been made an offer I couldn't refuse more than once, and I refused.  
Loved someone so much it made you cry: Never made me cry.  
Cheated on a test: No, but Ron's definitely copied off me.  
Done something illegal: Err...  
Ever stalked someone: As a joke, yes. Ginny, once again, I apologize for ruining your favorite socks...wait, those were mine!  
Are You Single: Yes, but hopefully not very soon.  
Have u ever had a boy/girl friend: Technically. Hi, Cho, how's random boyfriend number 2,003?  
Have you ever pranked someone before?: Yup. But, Snape, I didn't steal that Boomslang skin. No, I actually didn't.   
Do you swear too much: No, but Hermione would say that I do.  
Where are you at?: Dudley's second bedroom. Better than my old cupboard, anyway.  
Are you sitting by anyone?: No, my Aunt is rushing around downstairs making sure my Uncle and Cousin follow their diets. They aren't working. Dudley's bigger than ever.  
What color pants are you wearing?: Black  
What song are you listening to right now?: The Magic Stick  
What is the last thing that you said?: Yes, Aunt Petunia  
What's on your mousepad: It's a piece of parchment with random doodles on it.   
What was the last thing you ate?: Dudley's unwanted diet bread.   
If you were a crayon: Green, I guess.

Name a Person of the Opposite sex: Ginny.

Favorite Color: red  
How's the weather right now?: Clear night.  
What's under your bed: Nothing, I don't unpack at Privet Drive.  
Do you keep your room clean?:  Not really.

What do you feel like doing right now: Being anywhere but here. Or in Vol- You-Know-Who's presense. Not remotely appealing.

Who is most likely to fill this out: Ron, he is busy not doing summer homework.

Who is least likely to fill this out: Hermione, she's busy doing summer homework.

What do you want to do before you get back to school: Get the hell away from the Dursleys.


	2. Ginny

"**The Forward"**

**Inspired by Frsh-AngelBabe's "MagicMail"**

To: Hoggy-Warty Hogwarts (Group)

From: Ginevra Weasley, aka Ginny, Gin, and Ginger.

Age: 15

House: **Gryffindor. Weasley is our king and Malfoy is a ferret. **Hear, hear, Harry!

Been Kissed: Yea, but I didn't want to be nor did I enjoy it.  
Been on stage: Yes, I used to take dancing lessons. Evil...  
Gotten in a car accident: No.  
Cold or hot: Hot  
Blue or Red: Emerald.  
Rain or snow: rain, snow is pretty, but gets dirty so fast.  
Wool or cotton? Cotton.

Chocolate milk or plain milk: Chocolate. Chocolate and strawberries are the best, though..

Spring or fall: Fall, it's so beautiful.  
Do you like someone: Yes...hey, Harry, who do you like?  
Do They Know: If he gets to the Burrow ever, he will. I'm gonna jump his bones...hey Ron, did you need to hear that? Hee hee hee...

Who's the funniest: Neville  
Who's the craziest: Luna, in a great way  
Who do you e-mail the most: Harry  
Who's the loudest: Ron  
Who's the most silent: Luna Again  
Who's the shyest: Harry, usually. I will hurt you, Harry, but you probably won't mind.  
Whose parents do you know the best: Hermione's  
Been hugged: I have six older brothers. End of story.

Had a serious talk: Yes  
Gotten along with your parents: I clash with my mum a bit, but I get along with them fairly well, especially my dad.  
Fought with a friend: Yes  
Give hugs: Yes  
Give back rubs: Depends on the person...I can see your face now, Ron...  
Take walks in the rain: Yes, even if I'm alone, but walking with someone is the best

Which one of your friends...  
Knows you the best: Hermione or Harry  
Have you known the longest: Ron, he's my brother  
Have you known the shortest: Harry, but we're great friends now...yes, great friends...  
Most likely to end up in jail: Have to agree with Harry: **Fred and George. I'm sure they're complimented by that, though...**  
Been to a concert: Yes, the Weird Sisters are awesome.

Favorite Artist: New Found Glory. Their re-make of "My Heart Will Go On" is really good.

Favorite Song: Clay Aiken, "This is the Night". Some Americans are wonderful.

For Muggle-borns and Muggle-raised- Favorite Movie: Never seen one. I want to see one now, though.  
Loved someone so much it made you cry: Yes.  
Cheated on a test: No  
Done something illegal: Another agreement with Harry: **Err...**  
Ever stalked someone: Yes, as a joke. Yes, Harry, they were your socks, but I forgive you anyway.  
Are You Single: Yes...what is Harry going on about?  
Have u ever had a boy/girl friend: Yes. Hi, Michael, how is random BOYfriend number 2,103?  
Have you ever pranked someone before: Yes. Harry still doesn't know where all his socks are.  
Do you swear too much: Yup.  
Where are you at: My room. I'm going to beg my mum to let me paint it, it's a horrible pink right now. I hate pink...  
Are you sitting by anyone: Ron's owl Pig

What color pants are you wearing: Jean Skirt  
What song are you listening to right now: I Know What You Want  
What is the last thing that you said: Yes, mum.  
What's on your mousepad: A picture of the DA  
What was the last thing you ate: An apple  
If you were a crayon: Green, it's my favorite color

Name a Person of the Opposite sex: Harry

Favorite Color: Green...haven't I made that clear by now?  
How's the weather right now: Clear night.  
What's under your bed: Dust Bunnies, the magical ones. They are cute.  
Do you keep your room clean: Yes

What do you feel like doing right now: Stealing Harry's socks.

Who is most likely to fill this out: Ron, he is busy not doing summer homework.

Who is least likely to fill this out: Hermione, she's busy doing summer homework.

What do you want to do before you get back to school: Get Harry the hell away from those Dursleys.


	3. Ron

**"The Forward"**

Inspired by Fresh-AngelBabe's "MagicMail"

To: Hoggy-Warty Hogwarts (Group)

From: ChessMaster8911@theda.net

Fill this out and send it on.

Name: Ronald Weasley, aka Ron. 

Age: 15

House: **Gryffindor. Weasley is our king and Malfoy is a ferret.** YES! I AM YOUR KING!

Been Kissed: I don't want to brag, but....what the hell do you think?  
Been on stage: Only on the stage of Quidditch.  
Gotten in a car accident?: I agree with Harry- you've heard of the Whomping Willow incident, right?  
Cold or hot: Hot  
Blue or Red: Red  
Rain or snow: Walks in the rain are fun when your chasing a pretty brunette.  
Wool or cotton? Cotton, the fabric of our lives!

Chocolate milk or plain milk: Chocolate, chocolate, chocolate. I just had some chocolate!

Spring or fall?: Spring, end of school is closer!  
Do you like someone?: **Yes...hey, Harry, who do you like? I know who Harry likes!**

Do They Know: Not yet. No, Ginny, I did not need to hear that, nor do I wish to see it. I would be scarred for life.

Who's the funniest: Me.  
Who's the craziest: Luna, but in a good way.  
Who do you e-mail the most: Hermione  
Who's the loudest: Ginny!  
Who's the most silent?: Harry.  
Who's the shyest?: Harry. Once again, Ginny, I did not need to know that.  
Whose parents do you know the best: Hermione's  
Been hugged: Hell. Yes.

Had a serious talk?: Yes  
Gotten along with your parents: I clash with mum as well, and my and dad aren't the best of friends.  
Fought with a friend?: Yes. Wasn't that wonderful.  
Give hugs?: Sure.   
Give back rubs?: Not to boys. Ginny, I'm going to tell mum that you are a scarlet woman!   
Take walks in the rain?: Yes, if I'm chasing a pretty brunette.

Which one of your friends...  
Knows you the best: Hermione or Harry  
Have you known the longest: Harry  
Have you known the shortest?: Luna  
Most likely to end up in jail: **Have to agree with Harry: Fred and George. I'm sure they're complimented by that, though...** So true.  
Been to a concert: Yeah, the Weird Sisters

Favorite Artist: Lifehouse. "Hanging By a Moment" is the best, I can't get tired of it.

Favorite Song: Eminem, "The Way I Am"

For Muggle-borns and Muggle-raised- Favorite Movie: I saw Aladdin on Christmas. Hermione and Harry "sang" that one song on the magic carpet. I remain scarred for life.  
Loved someone so much it made you cry: I didn't cry.  
Cheated on a test: No.....*cough cough*  
Done something illegal: Well...  
Ever stalked someone: Nope.   
Are You Single: Yeah, but I'm apparently blind to the perfect girl for my that is literally standing in front of me.   
Have u ever had a boy/girl friend: Nah. I'm a P.I.M.P.!  
Have you ever pranked someone before?: Fred and George are my brothers. End of story.  
Do you swear too much: Damn straight.  
Where are you at?: My room. Chudley Cannons rock!  
Are you sitting by anyone?: Ginny is organizing my closet- she lost a bet. Don't ask.

What color pants are you wearing?: Khakis.  
What song are you listening to right now?: I'm Real remix.   
What is the last thing that you said?: Shut up, Bill!  
What's on your mousepad: The lyrics to "Weasley is our King", Gryffindor Remix.  
What was the last thing you ate?: What was the last thing I didn't eat?  
If you were a crayon: Blue

Name a Person of the Opposite sex: Hermione

Favorite Color: Chocolate Brown  
How's the weather right now?: Rainy Day.  
What's under your bed: You don't want to know.  
Do you keep your room clean?: Sometimes.

What do you feel like doing right now: Annoying Hermione

Who is most likely to fill this out: Hermione

Who is least likely to fill this out: Professor Dumbledore

What do you want to do before you get back to school: Get Harry the hell away from those Dursleys.


	4. Hermione

**"The Forward"**

Inspired by Fresh-AngelBabe's "MagicMail"

To: Hoggy-Warty Hogwarts (Group)

From: LadyMione@theda.net

Fill this out and send it on.

Name: Hermione Granger

Age: 15, almost 16!

House: **Gryffindor. Weasley is our king and Malfoy is a ferret.** Yes, and it's summer holiday, so I don't have to take points off because of it!

Been Kissed: Yes. Ron, you were right.   
Been on stage: No  
Gotten in a car accident?: Yes, I spent a month in a muggle hospital         
Cold or hot: Hot   
Blue or Red: Red  
Rain or snow: Ron, what does that mean? I thought we agreed to no secrets!  
Wool or cotton? Cotton, its comfy. 

Chocolate milk or plain milk: Plain, thought I do like chocolate.

Spring or fall?: Fall- the leaves are beautiful, they match the red hair of a certain someone...hmmm.  
Do you like someone?: Yes/

Do They Know: No...

Who's the funniest: Ron  
Who's the craziest: Luna  
Who do you e-mail the most: Ron or Ginny  
Who's the loudest: Ron  
Who's the most silent?: Harry  
Who's the shyest?: Umm...me?  
Whose parents do you know the best: Ron and Ginny's   
Been hugged: Yes

Had a serious talk?: Yes  
Gotten along with your parents: I get along very well with my parents  
Fought with a friend?: Yes, all the time.  
Give hugs?: Yes  
Give back rubs?: Yes  
Take walks in the rain?: Yes...Ron, what are you going on about?

Which one of your friends...  
Knows you the best: Ron, Harry, or Ginny  
Have you known the longest: Harry and Ron  
Have you known the shortest?: Luna  
Most likely to end up in jail: **Have to agree with Harry: Fred and George. I'm sure they're complimented by that, though.. **Yes, I agree.  
Been to a concert: No, they are too loud.

Favorite Artist: Mandy Moore

Favorite Song: Led Zeppelin, "Stairway to Heaven"

For Muggle-borns and Muggle-raised- Favorite Movie: The Matrix and Ever After  
Loved someone so much it made you cry: Yes.  
Cheated on a test: Of course not!  
Done something illegal: Yes, for another's well-being.  
Ever stalked someone: What kind of questions are these?  
Are You Single: Yes.  
Have u ever had a boy/girl friend: Yes, hello, Viktor! How's your flavor of the week?  
Have you ever pranked someone before?: Umm...  
Do you swear too much: No, not at all!  
Where are you at?: My house's library.  
Are you sitting by anyone?: Crookshanks

What color pants are you wearing?: I'm wearing a red sundress.  
What song are you listening to right now?: The Beatles, "Obla-di-Obla-da"- is that the correct spelling?  
What is the last thing that you said?: 10 more minutes, mum!  
What's on your mousepad: A flower.  
What was the last thing you ate?: Toast  
If you were a crayon: Purple

Name a Person of the Opposite sex: Ron

Favorite Color: Purple  
How's the weather right now?: Rainy Day.  
What's under your bed: Nothing  
Do you keep your room clean?: Yes

What do you feel like doing right now: Lecturing Ron

Who is most likely to fill this out: Malfoy

Who is least likely to fill this out: Professor Dumbledore, he has much more important things then these dumb forwards!

What do you want to do before you get back to school: Get Harry away from those Dursleys.


	5. Dumbledore

**"The Forward"**

Inspired by Fresh-AngelBabe's "MagicMail"

To: Hoggy-Warty Hogwarts (Group)

From: WhiteBumblebee@headmasters.org

Fill this out and send it on.

Name: Professor Dumbledore will suffice. I am happy to have received one of these delightful forwards...

Age: I dare not say.

House: I was in Gryffindor, and it appears that Mr. Weasley is quite popular.

Been Kissed: But of course! It is none of your business, however.   
Been on stage: Yes  
Gotten in a car accident?: No, unfortunately. I'd love to see what happens! Tell me, how can you get into a car's accident?  
Cold or hot: Cold  
Blue or Red: Blue, it's much more relaxing than red.  
Rain or snow: Snow is simply delightful when mixed with treacle! Rain doesn't taste as good..  
Wool or cotton? I prefer wool, and it seems that I am alone in that notion....

Chocolate milk or plain milk: Plain milk is deliciously nutritious, although I do have a weakness for chocolate.

Spring or fall?: Either is wonderful- I appreciate all now that I've gotten on in years.  
Do you like someone?: I have a wife.

Do They Know: Well, if I'm married...

Who's the funniest: Severus  
Who's the craziest: Remus  
Who do you e-mail the most: Cornelius  
Who's the loudest: Minerva  
Who's the most silent?: Hagrid  
Who's the shyest?: Hagrid, once again.  
Whose parents do you know the best: I know many parents. I am a parent.   
Been hugged: Naturally

Had a serious talk?: There are no stupid questions, nor stupid people. However, there are idiotic questions.  
Gotten along with your parents: My parents passed away long ago, I'm afraid.  
Fought with a friend?: Unfortunately, yes.  
Give hugs?: I don't think I should answer this question.  
Give back rubs?: Read above response.  
Take walks in the rain?: It's much too easy to catch a cold now that I'm old and feeble!

Which one of your friends...  
Knows you the best: Professor McGonagall   
Have you known the longest: Professor Binns  
Have you known the shortest?: Severus  
Most likely to end up in jail: Really, what sort of questions are these?  
Been to a concert: Yes, those Beatles really could get my lady friends riled up.

Favorite Artist: The Beatles

Favorite Song: P. Diddy, "Bad Boy For Life"- word up to my homies. 

For Muggle-borns and Muggle-raised- Favorite Movie: I'm quite partial to "The Big Rock Candy Mountains"  
Loved someone so much it made you cry: I chose not to answer this.  
Cheated on a test: Err...  
Done something illegal: I chose not to answer this once again.  
Ever stalked someone: What kind of questions are these?  
Are You Single: No.  
Have u ever had a boy/girl friend: Of course! This really discriminates against the elderly...well, I suppose it's meant to be that way.  
Have you ever pranked someone before?: Umm...  
Do you swear too much: No.  
Where are you at?: My office.  
Are you sitting by anyone?: Fawkes, who wants his own email address.

What color pants are you wearing?: I'm wearing my favorite outfit- my pajamas.  
What song are you listening to right now?: Lil Kim, "The Jump Off"  
What is the last thing that you said?: Hush, Fawkes.  
What's on your mousepad: Lemon Drops.  
What was the last thing you ate?: Lemon Drops  
If you were a crayon: Yellow.

Name a Person of the Opposite sex: Poppy

Favorite Color: Pink  
How's the weather right now?: It's a moonless night.  
What's under your bed: Socks  
Do you keep your room clean?: Umm...acceptably neat.

What do you feel like doing right now: Gazing at the stars.

Who is most likely to fill this out: Severus or Remus

Who is least likely to fill this out: Well, I won't answer this, as everyone seemed to think I wouldn't fill this out!

What do you want to do before you get back to school: I am at the school, it's my home.


	6. Draco

"The Forward"

Inspired by Fresh-AngelBabe's "MagicMail"

To: Hoggy-Warty Hogwarts (Group)

From: DragonLady@JuniorDE.co.uk 

Fill this out and send it on.

Name: Malfoy, Draco Malfoy, but the ladies who know me call me dragon. 

Age: 16

House: Slytherin. Weasley drops the Quaffle and won't even own up to loving the Mudblood. DO IT ALREADY! God, the people who hate you want you to do it!

Been Kissed: More than that.  
Been on stage: Yes, my life is the stage *snorts*  
Gotten in a car accident?: Like I'd ride in a pathetic muggle invention.  
Cold or hot: Hot, hot, hot.  
Blue or Red: Red is the color of a Gryffindor. Besides, I look better in blue. Although I look good in everything.  
Rain or snow: What does it matter?  
Wool or cotton?  Cotton is smooth to the touch, and I like things that are like that.

Chocolate milk or plain milk: Vodka on the rocks.

Spring or fall?: Doesn't matter.  
Do you like someone?: I like all girls. Except for mudbloods. And singers, but that's a different story.

Do They Know: Girls know that the dragon is always there.

Who's the funniest: Me.  
Who's the craziest: Me.  
Who do you e-mail the most: Me.  
Who's the loudest: Me.  
Who's the most silent?: Me.  
Who's the shyest?: Me.  
Whose parents do you know the best: Mine.  
Been hugged: Not in a comforting way.

Had a serious talk?: Yes, about my birthday presents.  
Gotten along with your parents: Yes.  
Fought with a friend?: I have allies, not friends.  
Give hugs?: It certain situations, and only to the females...  
Give back rubs?: I receive back rubs.  
Take walks in the rain?: No way in hell.

Which one of your friends...  
Knows you the best: I have no 'friends'.

Have you known the longest: Still have no 'friends'.  
Have you known the shortest?: Nope.  
Most likely to end up in jail: Natta.  
Been to a concert: Of course.

Favorite Artist: Metallica. 

Favorite Song: 50 Cent and Lil' Kim- the magic stick, 'cause I've got the magic stick.

For Muggle-borns and Muggle-raised- Favorite Movie: Know thine enemy- "Die Hard"  
Loved someone so much it made you cry: I don't love.  
Cheated on a test: But of course.  
Done something illegal: A Malfoy does nothing illegally.  
Ever stalked someone: No.  
Are You Single: I'm always single, even when I'm taken.  
Have u ever had a boy/girl friend: Not seriously. Well, _seriously, but not seriously...  
Have you ever pranked someone before?: Yes.  
Do you swear too much: No, damnit.  
Where are you at?: My mansion.  
Are you sitting by anyone?: No._

What color pants are you wearing?: Wouldn't you like to know.  
What song are you listening to right now?: Evanescence, "Going Under"  
What is the last thing that you said?: Yes, Father

What's on your mousepad: Money.  
What was the last thing you ate?: Wouldn't you like to know.  
If you were a crayon: Silver.

Name a Person of the Opposite sex: Only one?

Favorite Color: Silver  
How's the weather right now?: I have no windows.  
What's under your bed: I cannot say.  
Do you keep your room clean?: The slave labor does.

What do you feel like doing right now: Sleeping.

Who is most likely to fill this out: Who cares!

Who is least likely to fill this out: Crabbe and Goyle probably don't know how to type.

What do you want to do before you get back to school: Take over the world.


	7. Snape

"The Forward"

Inspired by Fresh-AngelBabe's "MagicMail"

To: Hoggy-Warty Hogwarts (Group)

From: FoShizzleDizzle@DE.com

Fill this out and send it on.

Name: Snape. Severus Snape.

Age: I shall not disclose such personal information.

House: Slytherin. Live with the snake, die for the snake.

Been Kissed: Naturally. I'm just irresistible.  
Been on stage: Yes. I performed "Man of Many Sorrows" on one occasion.  
Gotten in a car accident?: No.  
Cold or hot: Cold, like my dungeon.  
Blue or Red: Blac.  
Rain or snow: Snow. It's bitter and freezing. Stupid students, running around in it like fools...  
Wool or cotton? Wool. Cotton is too soft.

Chocolate milk or plain milk: Chocolate. It's good for my cheekbones.

Spring or fall?: Fall. It's so depressing.  
Do you like someone?: Yes, I do. She's sort of dead.

Do They Know: She did.

Who's the funniest: Me.  
Who's the craziest: Dumbledore.  
Who do you e-mail the most: Lucius.  
Who's the loudest: Hagrid, the oaf.  
Who's the most silent?: Lupin.  
Who's the shyest?: Me.  
Whose parents do you know the best: Parents? I sneer in their general direction.  
Been hugged: No.

Had a serious talk?: Yes.  
Gotten along with your parents: .....  
Fought with a friend?: Yes....no.  
Give hugs?: No.  
Give back rubs?: No.  
Take walks in the rain?: The dungeon ceilings drip, does that count?

Which one of your friends...  
Knows you the best: I have no friends.

Have you known the longest: No.  
Have you known the shortest?: No.  
Most likely to end up in jail: No.  
Been to a concert: Naturally. That Celestina Warbeck can rock the house...

Favorite Artist: Britney Spears.

Favorite Song: Some of these songs are quite inappropriate. Word Up, Mr. D.

For Muggle-borns and Muggle-raised- Favorite Movie: I don't watch movies.  
Loved someone so much it made you cry: Do you really think I'll answer that?  
Cheated on a test: No.  
Done something illegal: What sort of questionnaire is this?  
Ever stalked someone: Ye- no!  
Are You Single: No, I've got Christina Aguilera in the back *snorts*  
Have u ever had a boy/girl friend: Yes.  
Have you ever pranked someone before?: Yes.  
Do you swear too much: No.  
Where are you at?: My Potions Lab.  
Are you sitting by anyone?: My fluffy bun- no.

What color pants are you wearing?: Black.  
What song are you listening to right now?: The Spice Girls, "Wannabe"  
What is the last thing that you said?: *sneer sneer sneeeeeeeeeeeeer*

What's on your mousepad: It's black and plain.  
What was the last thing you ate?: Peeps.  
If you were a crayon: Black. I like black, you see.

Name a Person of the Opposite sex: Posh Spice.

Favorite Color: Black.  
How's the weather right now?: Rain.   
What's under your bed: Stone.   
Do you keep your room clean?: My bunny hel- er....

What do you feel like doing right now: Making the Draught of Living Death.

Who is most likely to fill this out: The Weasleys.

Who is least likely to fill this out: Crabbe and Goyle, I suppose. 

What do you want to do before you get back to school: Die. Or at least get on Broadway.


	8. Tonks

"The Forward"

Inspired by Fresh-AngelBabe's "MagicMail"

To: Hoggy-Warty Hogwarts (Group)

Wrom: GGMEPYOQKEDOTWFAOBUZXUWLSZLKBRNVWWCUFPEGAUTFJMVR 

Fill this out and send it on.

Name: Tonks. Don't like the first name.

Age: A lady never reveals her age.

House: Gryffindor.

Been Kissed: Sure, lots of- er. No.  
Been on stage: I'm too shy for something like that.  
Gotten in a car accident?: Yes. Thank god it was all wizards in that car....  
Cold or hot: "I'm reaaaaaally, reaaaally hot, every time my records drop..."  
Blue or Red: Red.  
Rain or snow: Snow. It's an insulator, after all wink  
Wool or cotton? Cotton, white cotton.

Chocolate milk or plain milk: Chocolate, of course. A lady doesn't reveal the effect chocolate has on women.

Spring or fall?: Fall. All those piles of leaves....  
Do you like someone?: Does he have money?

Do They Know: No. I'm very subtle with these things.

Who's the funniest: Remus.  
Who's the craziest: Kingsley.  
Who do you e-mail the most: Harry.  
Who's the loudest: Where do you mean? wink  
Who's the most silent?: Me.  
Who's the shyest?: Me again.  
Whose parents do you know the best: Ron and Ginny's, naturally.  
Been hugged: Of course.

Had a serious talk?: Uhm...  
Gotten along with your parents: Could we not go there?  
Fought with a friend?: Wotcher...HARRY, I DIDN'T MEAN IT!  
Give hugs?: Yes.  
Give back rubs?: giggle  
Take walks in the rain?: Only if I'm wearing cotton.

Which one of your friends...  
Knows you the best: All of my friends know me VERY well...

Have you known the longest: Charlie. Remember that broom cupboard, Charlie? Good times.  
Have you known the shortest?: Remus.  
Most likely to end up in jail: Ron, the bad boy!  
Been to a concert: Bugger! I'm late for the Weird Sisters!

Favorite Artist: Weird Sisters.

Favorite Song: Ludacris, "What's Your Fantasy?"

For Muggle-borns and Muggle-raised- Favorite Movie: Showgirls. I thought it was very well directed.  
Loved someone so much it made you cry: Uhm...depends on the kind of loving you're talking about.  
Cheated on a test: Of course not! Aurors are honorable. snort  
Done something illegal: See above response snort  
Ever stalked someone: I'm not supposed to answer questions about my work. (yes)  
Are You Single: Depends on who is asking.  
Have u ever had a boy/girl friend: Not steadily, no.  
Have you ever pranked someone before?: Yes! Fred and George, remember Snapey's face? Good times.  
Do you swear too much: Only when I can't help what I'm saying sigh.  
Where are you at?: My flat.  
Are you sitting by anyone?: Remus is here, but I'm in the computer room, and he's asleep in...well.

What color pants are you wearing?: giggle  
What song are you listening to right now?: Something by Barry White. Remus brought it over.  
What is the last thing that you said?: (editor's note: explicit. Deleted.)

What's on your mousepad: It's a picture of (editor's note: explicit. Deleted.)  
What was the last thing you ate?: (editor's note: repetitive, ain't it?)  
If you were a crayon: Crimson red.

Name a Person of the Opposite sex: Remus.

Favorite Color: White.  
How's the weather right now?: Can't tell, all the curtains are drawn.  
What's under your bed: Let's put it this way: girls, if you need it, I probably have it.  
Do you keep your room clean?: I don't bother anymore. It always just gets messy again.

What do you feel like doing right now: heeheehee....

Who is most likely to fill this out: Fred or George.

Who is least likely to fill this out: Remus. He's unconscious at the moment.

What do you want to do before you get back to school: I don't go to school anymore, I just school the baddies.

(Author's Note: line more or less taken from Fresh-AngelBabe's "MagicMail".)


	9. James Milamber guest chapter!

**"The Forward"**

**Inspired by Fresh-AngelBabe's MagicMail**

**(IMPORTANT AUTHOR'S NOTE!**** This is an outtake of sorts written by James Milamber. This author kicks ass. The character this chapter describes is from his 'Harry Potter and the Mind Mage', which you all must go read and review. Review my Arch of Hades as well, now that I'm thinking about it. Oh, like Nike says, Just do it! Enjoy!)**

To: Hoggy-Warty Hogwarts (Group)

From:

Fill this out and send it on.

Name: James Milton – for now, anyway.

Age: No comment.

House: Ravenclaw.

Been Kissed: Well, I _was_ married for fifteen years, you know…  
Been on stage: Of course not.  
Gotten in a car accident?: Been in one? No, but I _have_ caused a few…  
Cold or hot: Cold  
Blue or Red: Blue, of course – I WAS a Ravenclaw  
Rain or snow: I lived in Melbourne for fifteen years. Enough said.  
Wool or cotton? Cotton

Chocolate milk or plain milk: Chocolate

Spring or fall?: Fall? Who wrote this? Bloody Americans…  
Do you like someone?: Not after my wife, no.  
Do They Know: I certainly hope she knew.

Who's the funniest: Me, of course.  
Who's the craziest: Dumbledore.  
Who do you e-mail the most: Again, Dumbledore.  
Who's the loudest: Alex.  
Who's the most silent?: Voldemort, after I get my hands on the little (censored).  
Who's the shyest?: Probably Harry.  
Whose parents do you know the best: Well, I know Molly and Arthur Weasley pretty well.  
Been hugged: Is that supposed to be a rhetorical question?

Had a serious talk?: How does YES strike you?  
Gotten along with your parents: Kinda hard, considering they were both murdered…  
Fought with a friend?: Merlin, yes.  
Give hugs?: Sometimes.  
Give back rubs?: Not to YOU, I won't.  
Take walks in the rain?: Andrea was quite fond of them.

Which one of your friends...  
Knows you the best: I don't have many friends, and most of them are already dead. The PERSON who knows me the best is Cassie – she's far too much like her mother for her own good.  
Have you known the longest: Dumbles – I duelled him when I was twenty three, and he was twenty. Merlin, where DOES the time go?  
Have you known the shortest?: Nymph (you cheeky little chit…)  
Most likely to end up in jail: Dung. I'm fairly certain it's happened several times already.

Been to a concert: But of course.

Favorite Artist: Evanescence – Amy Lee is amazing, for a Muggle

Favorite Song: The Unforgiven - Metallica

For Muggle-borns and Muggle-raised- Favorite Movie: Do I _look _like I was raised by Muggles? Oh alright, The Matrix.

Loved someone so much it made you cry: Do you actually expect me to answer that?  
Cheated on a test: Erm…  
Done something illegal: Is murder still illegal these days?  
Ever stalked someone: I worked for Voldemort. YES!  
Are You Single: Yes.  
Have u ever had a boy/girl friend: Married, remember?  
Have you ever pranked someone before?: Of course. It took weeks for Potter Senior to get rid of those antlers…  
Do you swear too much: Me? Never!  
Where are you at?: Grimmauld Place – and if that painting doesn't shut up, I'm going to break out a can of paint thinner.  
Are you sitting by anyone?: Of course not.  
What color pants are you wearing?: Black – part of my "Imitate-Snape-to-annoy-the-hell-out-of-him" ensemble.  
What song are you listening to right now?: Excalibur – Knights Templar Remix  
What is the last thing that you said?: You probably don't want to know.  
What's on your mousepad: A picture of my darling children. (snort)  
What was the last thing you ate?: Good question, actually…does bourbon count as food?  
If you were a crayon: Blue.

Name a Person of the Opposite sex: Andrea.

Favorite Color: Haven't we been through this already? Blue!  
How's the weather right now?: Clear night, full moon.  
What's under your bed: Nothing, I only arrived here a few minutes ago.  
Do you keep your room clean?: Not really. Vanishing spells come in _so_ handy…

What do you feel like doing right now: Well, killing the Dark Tosser is right at the top of the list…

Who is most likely to fill this out: I have no clue – probably someone who hasn't done it yet.

Who is least likely to fill this out: Remus – as Tonks said, he's not up to filling _anything_ out at the moment…

What do you want to do before you get back to school: Umm…no comment.


	10. Remus

**"The Forward"**

**Inspired by Fresh-AngelBabe's MagicMail**

To: Hoggy-Warty Hogwarts (Group)

From: 

Fill this out and send it on.

Name: Remus J. Lupin

Age: Far too old for something like this.

House: Gryffindor.

Been Kissed: That is a rather personal question!  
Been on stage: No, that was always James and Sirius. Good times…..  
Gotten in a car accident?: I do my best to avoid automobiles. With my luck, I'd end up in one with a moon roof.  
Cold or hot: Well, both! One cannot always be hot or always be cold.  
Blue or Red: Red, like Tonks when…ahem.  
Rain or snow: Neither. Really, what sort of questionnaire is this?  
Wool or cotton? Either, as long as it fits and is not ripped.

Chocolate milk or plain milk: Plain. Who is this "James Milton" whose answers I am replacing, anyway?

Spring or fall?: Fall? Well, I do agree with this "James" on one count, I suppose…  
Do you like someone?: I'm seeing someone casually.  
Do They Know: I didn't tell her with words, but I'm pretty sure she got the message.

Who's the funniest: Hagrid. You never quite know what the lovable man will say next.  
Who's the craziest: Snape. He's a real party animal (snort)  
Who do you e-mail the most: Dumbledore. We do need to keep in touch now. After him, Nymphadora, although she prefers it when I call her- er, nevermind.  
Who's the loudest: Fred and George, without a doubt.  
Who's the most silent?: Ask Nymphadora. She knows more than I do in regards to that.  
Who's the shyest?: Well, I'm guessing that this "James" person is, considering the fact that I've never met him!  
Whose parents do you know the best: He knows Arthur and Molly as well? I'll get Molly to have us all over for tea.  
Been hugged: I'm more of a doggie- oh, that's not what you're asking, is it?

Had a serious talk?: These questions are quite ludicrous.  
Gotten along with your parents: I take my earlier response back; THIS is the most invasive question.  
Fought with a friend?: Of course.  
Give hugs?: I'm not quite sure what you're asking, so I won't answer.  
Give back rubs?: I'm told that I give quite a good rub, actually.  
Take walks in the rain?: I'm always ill. I can't.

Which one of your friends...  
Knows you the best: Nymphadora. She most definitely knows me better than anyone.  
Have you known the longest: Now I know this "James" is a fraud. Older than Dumbledore? It's preposterous!  
Have you known the shortest?: He claims to know Nymphadora? I'll teach him to call her a cheeky chit….  
Most likely to end up in jail: I agree. Dung.

Been to a concert: No, I dislike the noise.

Favorite Artist: Barry White. Nymphadora rather likes him.

Favorite Song: Elvis, Love Me Tender.

For Muggle-borns and Muggle-raised- Favorite Movie: I find that I rather dislike the cinema ever since viewing "An American Werewolf in London." Didn't do it for me, I'm afraid.

Loved someone so much it made you cry: My, this questionnaire is invasive!  
Cheated on a test: Of course not!  
Done something illegal: No!  
Ever stalked someone: My goodness!  
Are You Single: I'll get back to you on that.  
Have u ever had a boy/girl friend: Yes, once.  
Have you ever pranked someone before?: Yes. They call me Moony for a reason.  
Do you swear too much: I try to avoid it. Nymphadora rather brings it out in me, I'm afraid.  
Where are you at?: Nymphadora's flat. She's in the other room.  
Are you sitting by anyone?: Nothing breathing, but a few inanimate objects.  
What color pants are you wearing?: Well…  
What song are you listening to right now?: Something by Barry White, I've rather lost track of where the disk is.  
What is the last thing that you said?: I'd rather not disclose that.  
What's on your mousepad: I don't think I should share.  
What was the last thing you ate?: I don't think I should share that, either.  
If you were a crayon: Gray. Perfectly me.

Name a Person of the Opposite sex: Severus.

Favorite Color: Purple, like Nymphadora's favorite hair…  
How's the weather right now?: The curtains are drawn.  
What's under your bed: It's Nymphadora's bed, and I'd really rather not know.  
Do you keep your room clean?: Of course.

What do you feel like doing right now: The "Dark Tosser"? Where did that come from?

Who is most likely to fill this out: Fred or George.

Who is least likely to fill this out: A member of the Dark Lord's inner circle, although they may actually be that stupid.

What do you want to do before you get back to school: Something I fear would be edited from this email.


	11. Luscious Lucius

**"The Forward"**

**Inspired by Fresh-AngelBabe's MagicMail**

To: Hoggy-Warty Hogwarts (Group)

From: this out and send it on.

Name: Lucius Malfoy, you unworthy prick.

Age: 40 years young.

House: Slytherin, what else?

Been Kissed: Naturally- have you not seen the pimp cane?

Been on stage: No, but I often…perform…for the ladies. And Snapey- I didn't just say that.

Gotten in a car accident: A powerful wizard such as myself has no need for such a feeble muggle invention.

Cold or hot: Hot, like me. I keep Azkaban quite warm.

Blue or Red: Blue. Red is an atrocious, blood-traitor colour.

Rain or snow: I am too good for such a petty question.

Wool or cotton? Silk.

Chocolate milk or plain milk: Vodka.

Spring or fall: Spring, for picnics with Sna- I didn't just say that.

Do you like someone: No. I like no one. Attractions have nothing to do with like.

Do They Know: Narcissa and I occasionally have fun with Sn- I didn't just say that.

_Who's__ the funniest: _

_  
Who's the craziest: _

_Who__ do you e-mail the most: _

_Who's__ the loudest: _

_Who's the most silent: _I am above answering all these italicized questions.

_Who's the shyest:_

_Whose parents do you know the best: _

_Been hugged: _

Had a serious talk: NO. covers left forearm protectively.

Gotten along with your parents: But of course, I am their firstborn son.

Fought with a friend: No.

Give hugs: What?

Give back rubs: Again, did you not see the pimp cane?

Take walks in the rain: Uhm, umbrella much?

Which one of your friends...

Knows you the best: My lord and mas- I didn't just say that.

Have you known the longest: Snape was my firs- oh, bollocks.

Have you known the shortest: Narcissa.

Most likely to end up in jail: Well, as I'm currently in Azkaban….

Been to a concert: Of course, I have a private box in the LightningDome.

Favorite Artist: Jessica Simpson…indeed, those boots WERE made for walking…

Favorite Song: Justin Timberlake, Rock Your Body, because I'd like to rock HIS- oh, dungeons and dragons!

For Muggle-borns and Muggle-raised- Favorite Movie: Very good, Draco, no thine enemy- _Showgirls._

Loved someone so much it made you cry: No response.

Cheated on a test: No.

Done something illegal: HOW DARE YOU!

Ever stalked someone: What?

Are You Single: Really, do I need to beat you with the pimp cane? Oo, naughty…

Have u ever had a boy/girl friend: See above question.

Have you ever pranked someone before: No.

Do you swear too much: Swearing is a vile habit.

Where are you at: My private suite at Azkaban. I had it decked out in leopard print.

Are you sitting by anyone: Just my vodka bottles. Smirnoff, if you must know.

What color pants are you wearing: Brown-Gray Azkaban sheikh.

What song are you listening to right now: The dementors dislike music.

What is the last thing that you said: "Oh, gruel again. Yum."

What's on your mousepad: Snape and Narcissa snickers

What was the last thing you ate: Gruel. Seasoned with vodka.

If you were a crayon: A sexy, scintillating silver.

Name a Person of the Opposite sex: Narcissa.

Favorite Color: Silver, like my hair.

How's the weather right now: Stormy, I'm in friggin Azkaban!

What's under your bed: Wouldn't you like to know.

Do you keep your room clean: I have no need to, as I am so clean naturally.

What do you feel like doing right now: Sna- ahem.

Who is most likely to fill this out: That idiot potter boy, not realizing he's already done it.

Who is least likely to fill this out: The Dark Lord, he is above such petty things.

What do you want to do before you get back to school: I graduated years ago, fool!

(A/N: And next time….VOLDIE-POO!)


End file.
